Mom here:
I can't believe she's 10 months old already. Where has the time gone? I think it left with the nice weather because we're just coming out of a huge ugly deepfreeze that left my car inoperable for 2 days. The past 2-3 months we've settled into a rather normal routine. Please don't hate me for this.... Presleigh gets up about 10-1030am, she has a bottle about a 1/2 hr after she gets up (she's not a morning eater and neither am I), then she plays for about an hr - 90 mins and then its back down for a 2 hr nap. She's up between 2-230pm and has a bottle, and then we play HARD and do physio exercises. She has another bottle about 6pm and has a short 30-45 min nap. She plays hard for another 3 - 3 1/2 hrs and then a bottle & bed by 10ish. I have tried to switch this so she's going to bed earlier and then waking earlier, but if I move it back by even 30 mins at a time, she's up at 7 and miserable by 8. Tonight was late as we were watching a movie at Grandma Taffy's and it was midnight when she got into bed so I expect I will have to wake her at 10 to get ready to go to do our errands.
I haven't posted much about this on here as I was doing my best to keep this as positive and upbeat as I could even with our feeding issues which really aren't horrible... however, I guess since I've eluded to it several times, and been asked about it, I should elaborate.
When I was 6 months pregnant, Presleigh's father decided it was OK to leave. Upon hearing of her birth, he immediately (intoxicated and all) wanted to come to the hospital but was told that he was not allowed and to wait. Because of that statement he chose to make my NICU time turn into chaos. The laws in Canada do not automatically grant a biological father guardianship if there has been no permanent relationship (common law or marriage) between the biological parents. (When Presleigh was conceived, we were engaged however not living together at that point.) So, he could not be at the bedside without me... nor could anyone else for that matter. Which he didn't like one iota. So he chose to show up randomly whenever he felt like it. I laid it out for him that if I could get my very sore post c-section body out of bed every day and drive across the freakin city when I wasn't supposed to be driving, then he could get his ass to the hospital every day for a couple of hours after work or he should not bother at all. That made him angry and he stopped coming. And then he stopped calling for updates. He made the decision at he end of June that if he couldn't see her on his terms*, then he wouldn't see her at all. And he has not seen her since June 25th. He hasn't called since September.
In light of all of that, I have a court order for child support being enforced by Maintenance Enforcement and I have a court order for Sole Custody and Day to Day Care and Control. The reasons that I have done this is because he is an alcoholic and he has a history of violence. She doesn't need it and I'm grateful that I got out when I did.
I told him at some point that I thanked him. He asked me for what. I said when he was sober, he'd know. But what I was thanking him for was for setting me free... free from the abuse and the crap and the life that I didn't want.
His mother and sister haven't seen her recently except briefly at the tree ceremony in September. They haven't called me since May.
Each one of them have no idea the preemie issues and expect that she's considered no longer premature. She's past her due date so she can't be premature any longer. I've tried my damndest to explain to them the issues and when she is 'expected' to catch up to other babies/toddlers... but I am failing that miserably.
I have been debating for about 2 weeks now if I should include them in the Christmas card mailout with her studio photos (that have yet to be taken so I expect that they'll be new years photos *laugh*), should I be asking them if they intend to do anything with regards to her or if I should just let them keep digging themselves into the hole and when she's old enough she can ask them where the hell they've been for the past howevermany years? I haven't changed my phone number, I haven't moved... my email is still the same.. *shrug* Maybe once my sister has left and my mom slows down for 30 seconds, I'll talk to her about it.
Anyways, basically the point of all of this babble was to clarify things that people had asked me via email... hope that helps.
* His terms are that he wants to pick her up Friday night and bring her back Sunday night - an alcoholic that binge drinks all weekend that can barely take care of himself wanted weekend access to an infant with feeding issues that didn't sleep through the night til she was 10 weeks adjusted. He can barely pay his bills on time to avoid cut offs and had a girlfriend at the time that drank more than he did and a brother than smokes pot whenever possible and a mother than enables them both. < / start sarcasm >Perfect situation for me to leave my daughter in.. < / end sarcasm >
